How can I find comfort when an unsaved loved one has died?

Question: "How can I find comfort when an unsaved loved one has died?"

Answer: Our LORD gives the invitation to "whosoever will" to make a decision to accept Christ as Savior. As believers, one of our missions in this life is to spread the "good news" of Christ's gift of eternal life to everyone that will hear, and that is especially true of our loved ones. We know that God is "not willing that any should perish and that all should come to repentance" (2 Peter 3:9). However, the truth is that even though the invitation is to all, some will not receive the gift.

There is often associated with this situation a pain that asks "why." I don't believe that there is an answer to that question that will suffice, this side of glory. For the Christian, there is the idea of wondering how anyone could refuse such a precious gift. Our joy in the LORD constrains us to want that same joy for others. However, we can take comfort, encouragement, and assurance in the truth that even though we may never see our loved one again, God is always faithful and just. It is amazing to me that God is so patient and leaves the door open for so long.

There is a passage of Scripture found in Genesis that I was given at a time when I was mourning the loss of my mother. I know she heard the gospel, time and time again. Several months before she passed as a result of cancer, I once again presented her with the choice to accept Christ as her savior. My mother did not indicate that she had trusted in Christ. She died before I was able to speak with her again and so, I do not know whether or not she made that choice.

"Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right" (Genesis 18:25)? This is a great comfort to those of us with loved ones who have passed into eternity and we are not sure of the destination of their souls. God is a sovereign Judge of righteousness, full of grace and mercy to all who call upon Him. It is His very justice that offers a "way" for all to escape the judgment of His righteousness, and it is in that justice that we must rest. It is grace that saves us and it is grace in which we must stand when we go through the double grief of the death of an unsaved loved one. We must remember that we cannot make this choice for anyone else, and if they went into eternity with out Christ, that was their choice in spite of the offer of grace.

Although we may have the pain and the remembrance of that loved one while we are in this life and go through the grief process, there will come a time when each born again believer will be with the LORD. In that day we will have the blessing of "no more." "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away" (Revelation 21:4). We cannot comprehend how that will be because we live in time, and are constrained by our finite minds. However, just the thought of that is enough to bring comfort and encouragement. When we see the LORD, all of the sorrow we have now will disappear. "And you now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you" (John 16:22).

Recommended Resource: What the Bible Says about Heaven & Eternity by Ice & Demy.

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