How can I overcome feelings of rejection?Question: "How can I overcome feelings of rejection?"
Answer: We are all prone to disappointment and feelings of rejection, and that is especially true in the aftermath of a broken relationship. However, as born-again believers we have a resource in God's Word that can bring comfort and clarity to the situation. One person's rejection does not mean we are unlovable. We can allow that one rejection to determine how we feel and allow that feeling to color our idea of who we are, or we can choose to put that behind us and move forward on the basis of something that is far more lasting.
What is that? For believers, it is our position in Christ. When we are born again, we are accepted. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves" (Ephesians 1:3-6).
Even though we do not deserve it nor can we earn it (Ephesians 2:8-9), the Lord Jesus Christ has blessed us with every spiritual blessing and has made us accepted in Him. This acceptance is His gift of grace, and it transcends any and all other "feelings" we may have because it is not based on "hope so" but on "know so." We know that this is true because God's Word tells us, and as we appropriate this truth by faith, it becomes reality in our hearts and lives.
Walking by our feelings is like walking through the world with our heart on our sleeve. We are bound to be hurt, and we are bound to be disappointed, for we live in a fallen world. What we choose to do with that hurt and disappointment will either allow us to grow stronger in our walk with the Lord or it will mean that we are walking wounded. Both outcomes are our choice. God makes it possible for us to walk through the disappointments in life with a knowledge that His provision for us works. His grace and His comfort are ours as we rest in Him. Every born-again child of God has all of these provisions and blessings in Christ, but we have to choose to utilize them. It is sort of like having a million dollars in the bank and choosing to starve to death because we don't use that money to buy food. It is also true that we cannot use what we do not know. Therefore, it behooves every believer to "know" the God who knows us and loves us, and that means more than a devotional reading of God's Word but study that changes our perspective (2 Timothy 3:16-17) and allows us to face life armed with real understanding about the reality of walking by faith.
As believers we are not defined by our past failures or by disappointment or by the rejection of others. We are defined as children of God, born again to newness of life and endowed with every spiritual blessing and accepted in Christ Jesus. That is the defining factor when it comes to victorious living. God has prepared for each of us unique opportunities to walk through the "all things" of this life. We can either walk in our own strength and what the Apostle Paul calls our "flesh," or we can walk in the power of the provision God has made for us through the Holy Spirit. It is our choice. God has provided us with armor (Ephesians 6:11-18), but it is up to us to put it on by faith.
Therefore, if you are a child of God, you may suffer disappointment in this life, but you need to remember that as a child of the King, this rejection is a momentary bump in the road. You have a choice to either allow that bump to derail you and walk wounded, or you can choose to claim the heritage of a child of God and move forward in grace. Forgiveness of others and of self is a gift that you can give because it is the gift given to you by the Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 4:32).
Recommended Resource: How to Win Over Depression by Tim Lahaye.
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