What did Jesus mean when He said someone “is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:38)?

As Jesus prepared to send out the twelve apostles to minister His message, He spoke to them about the cost of discipleship and the depth of commitment required to truly follow Him: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:37–39, ESV).

During Jesus’ time on earth, the cross was not merely a Christian symbol as it is today. It was a brutal method of execution used by the Romans to punish and humiliate criminals publicly. Carrying a cross wasn’t like wearing a Christian t-shirt or gold trinket. It meant bearing the weight of one’s own death sentence. It was a visible display of submission to authority. When Jesus told His followers to take up their cross and follow Him, He was asking them to willingly accept the hardships, shame, persecution, and sacrifice that would come with being His disciples.

At the core of Christ’s teaching was the principle of self-denial. Taking up one’s cross signifies a willingness to surrender personal ambitions, comforts, and even relationships, if necessary, in favor of prioritizing the kingdom of God. Every sincere follower of Jesus must move beyond superficial faith and embrace a wholehearted, life-transforming commitment to Christ. This act of self-denial is not a passive acceptance of suffering but an active, ongoing choice to lay down one’s life for Christ’s sake. It means aligning our will with God’s will, even when it is difficult and costs us everything.

In Matthew 10:38, Jesus said, “Whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” Here, the original Greek word for “worthy” is axios, meaning “worthy or deserving of being treated or recognized in a particular way.” He was clarifying the standard or “worthiness” of someone who could be recognized as His disciple, stressing the depth of devotion required. Worthiness in this context does not imply inherent value or moral superiority but a readiness to surrender one’s all to Him. It contains a relational dynamic, since being “worthy” of Jesus means being willing to identify one’s life with His example and mission.

Jesus states that someone “worthy of me” (or deserving to be considered His disciple) will love Jesus more than anyone else—more than father, mother, son, or daughter (see Matthew 10:34–37; cf. Micah 7:6). Our loyalty to Jesus must supersede all other relationships in life. We may never have to choose between a family member and Jesus, but in our hearts, we love Him and remain faithful to Him above all others (see Deuteronomy 6:4–5; Matthew 22:37). In Jesus’ day (and in some cultures and parts of the world still today), becoming Christ’s disciple would indeed result in being disowned by relatives and rejected by friends and loved ones.

The other standard to be worthy of Jesus is to confess Him and obey Him despite shame, suffering, and sacrifice. In a world focused on comfort, status, and self-preservation, the idea of willingly embracing sacrifice is counterintuitive. Yet, discipleship in God’s paradoxical kingdom demands a reorientation of values; eternal significance takes precedence over temporary concerns.

If we want to be worthy of Jesus, deserving to be treated as His disciples, we will trust in His plans and follow His path even when these conflict with our personal desires. We will understand that trials and difficulties are not obstacles to faith but opportunities to grow closer to God (see James 1:2–12). We will embrace humility and prioritize service, reflecting the sacrificial love of Christ in our relationships and actions (see Philippians 2:5–11). As a testament to our devotion to Christ, we will stand firm in our faith, even in the face of rejection or persecution.

Matthew 10:38 reminds us of the extreme cost of true discipleship. When we embrace Christ’s call to carry our cross, we accept that being His follower involves sacrifice, perseverance, and unwavering commitment. Ultimately, being worthy of Jesus is not about perfection or performance but having a heart entirely devoted to Him and His mission.