What does husbands love your wives as your own body mean (Ephesians 5:33)?

In Ephesians 5:22–33, the apostle Paul teaches on marriage relationships, emphasizing the deep unity between a husband and wife. He draws a parallel between Christian marriage and the relationship between Christ and the church. Twice, Paul tells husbands, “Love your wives as your own body” (see verses 28 and 33). He explains, “For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. . . . So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28–33, NLT).

Paul’s instruction—“husbands, love your wives as your own body”—derives from the Old Testament idea that in marriage, a man and woman become “one flesh.” He quotes from Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). The biblical concept of marriage regards husband and wife as one person, one body, one flesh. Joined by God in marriage, they become a single entity.

When a husband loves his wife, he is essentially loving himself, as they are considered one in marriage. He does not merely love her “just like he loves himself” or “just as he would want to be loved.” No, he is, in truth, loving himself. Paul describes this kind of love as nourishing, cherishing, tender, and affectionate. Such love strives to “never treat them harshly” (Colossians 3:19).

In this same section of Ephesians 5, Paul instructs wives to respect their husbands and submit to them as they would to the Lord (see Ephesians 5:22–24, 33). What wife would not willingly submit to and respect a husband who loves her so completely and selflessly? Such love creates a mutual dynamic of care and consideration in the marriage relationship.

Paul asserts that, when husbands love their wives as their own bodies, they reflect the model of Jesus Christ and how He loves the church. He writes, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. . . . Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:23–28).

To understand what it means for husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, we can look to the powerful example of Christ and His love for the church, which is His own body (Ephesians 5:30; 1 Corinthians 6:15; 12:27; Romans 12:5). Despite all the imperfections and weaknesses of the church, Jesus tenderly cares for her. Jesus “loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word” (Ephesians 5:25–26, NLT). He devoted His life and ministry to establishing the church and ultimately sacrificed His life on the cross for her (Mark 10:45; 1 John 3:16; Romans 5:8; Ephesians 5:2). He continues to feed and care for His body (Ephesians 4:11–16; 5:29). He loves His church “to the very end,” that is, to the uttermost limit of love.

One commentator writes, “To that degree, and in that quality, the husband is to love his wife. He is to give himself up for her. He is to dedicate his life to the physical, emotional, and spiritual welfare of his wife. Following the example of Christ, he is to give his wife not only all that he has but also all that he is. When a husband loves his wife so completely, the wife need never fear submission” (Anders, M., Galatians—Colossians, vol. 8, Holman New Testament Commentary, Broadman & Holman Pub., 1999, p. 174).

The husband who loves his wife as his own body and as Christ loves the church will have a sanctifying influence on her (see Ephesians 5:26–28). He will love her unconditionally, knowing she will fall short at times. He will love her sacrificially, not demanding his own way or keeping a record of wrongs (see 1 Corinthians 13:5). Instead, he will understand his responsibility before the Lord to look out for her well-being and nurture her spiritual growth.