Answer
Even the most secure, devout believer can have occasions when he fears death. It is hard-wired into our systems to avoid death. Death was not an original part of God’s plan for His creation. We were made to be whole and holy, living in paradise in communion with Him. The introduction of death was a necessary response to the admittance of sin into the world. In a sense, it is a grace that we die. If we didn’t, we would have to live in a sinful world for all eternity.
Even with the knowledge that death serves a purpose, we have a visceral reaction to the thought of our own mortality. The fragility of our physical bodies and the sudden cessation of life are stark reminders of our lack of control in a large and dangerous world. We do have the great hope that He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4), and the One who loves us did go to prepare a place for us so we could join Him someday (John 14:2). But, in overcoming a fear of death, it might help to consider some immediate, practical considerations.
First, what is the actual fear that we face? There are several aspects of death that can potentially cause fear. Fortunately, God has an answer for each of them:
Fear of the unknown
What exactly does it feel like to die? What can you see as your life leaves your physical body? How will it come about? Is it anything like people have reported—a bright light? A group of relatives?
No one knows for certain what it feels like to die, but the Bible does describe what happens. Second Corinthians 5:6–8 and Philippians 1:23 say that, when we leave our body, we are at home with the Lord. What a reassuring thought! Then we have the promise of bodily resurrection, at which time we will be given new, glorified bodies (1 Corinthians 15:20–22; 6:14).
Fear of loss of control
By the time humans reach adulthood, they have a pretty good idea how to interact with the world around them. They know how to find what they need, get to where they want to be, and interact with others in a way that fulfills their intent.
Many, though, even those who profess a trust in God, are so fearful of not getting what they need that they try to manipulate their surroundings and the people around them to their benefit. Some abuse others and take advantage of them, grasping for control. They don’t trust God to provide for their needs, so they take care of things themselves. They don’t trust others to give them consideration, so they demand what they think they need.
These people must certainly fear the loss of control upon their deaths. The apostle Peter showed a fear of death when he denied Jesus three times. Later, Jesus forgave Peter and encouraged him in service. After Jesus returned to heaven, Peter was filled with the Holy Spirit, and all fear of death was gone. His passion for boldly preaching Christ’s message far outstripped his need to control his surroundings (Acts 5:17–42). The Holy Spirit alone gave Peter the strength to endure the challenges he would face.
Fear for those left behind
The Christian view of death is that it involves separation. Ultimate death is eternal separation from God. In physical death, we are separated from our bodies and from our loved ones on earth for a time. If our loved ones are also believers, we know that the separation will be a blink of the eye compared to eternity in heaven. If they are not believers, the separation will be permanent. Our mission, then, is to use our time together to pray for our loved ones and talk to them about eternity. Ultimately, we commit our loved ones into God’s hands.
Fear of the act of dying
Few ever know how they will die. Some deaths are quick and painless; others face a long, drawn-out illness. The mystery surrounding death and, in most cases, the inability to prepare for it can be frightening. Even if we do know the manner our death will come—we’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness, for example—we must still overcome certain fears.
But death itself is only a moment in time—a moment nearly everyone has experienced or will. When that moment is over, we will claim Philippians 3:20–21: “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.”
Often, being informed of and actively participating in matters related to our own end of life can help assuage fear. You can take steps to prepare yourself and those around you.
Overcoming the fear of death — Practical steps
Many people believe they shouldn’t die because they have too much to live for. Often, this means they have responsibilities and unfinished business that would be neglected if they were gone. Doing what you can now to make sure your responsibilities and tasks are taken care of then can alleviate fear.
If you have a business or children or other dependents, consider their care. Decide who will take over your role, and work with that person to come up with a plan. Prepare a will or a trust. Make sure all your necessary paperwork is organized and easy to find. Reconcile broken relationships while you can. But don’t live for dying. Just take reasonable steps to put things in order.
Overcoming the fear of death — Legal steps
Part of planning ahead involves deciding what will happen in the event you become incapacitated. It’s possible that, during the course of an illness or injury, you’ll lose control of the situation and be unable to make your wishes known. To prevent confusion and possible turmoil, many people opt to set up an advance directive such as a living will or power of attorney. At any rate, it’s wise to let those closest to you know what you want—at least tell them where it’s written down.
Overcoming the fear of death — Spiritual steps
The most important thing to remember regarding death is the truth about life. You love your family and care for them, but God loves them more. You may worry about your earthly legacy, but God is more concerned with an eternal, kingdom perspective. All the paperwork in the world won’t bring the peace of mind that comes with abiding in Christ.
Living in this world, it’s difficult to keep in mind that this is just a temporary condition. First John 2:15–17 helps us to maintain the proper perspective: “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” Staying in the truth of God’s Word and believing what He says about us and the world around us will give us the proper perspective and take away fear.
In overcoming the fear of death, we cling to 1 John 3:1–2: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”
