What should a Christian do if he or she is married to an unbeliever?

Question: "What should a Christian do if he or she is married to an unbeliever?"

Answer: Being married to an unbeliever can be one of the most difficult challenges in a Christian's life. Marriage is a sacred covenant that joins two people together into one flesh (Matthew 19:5). It is not possible for a believer and an unbeliever to live in peaceful harmony (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). If one partner becomes a Christian after the marriage, the inherent struggles that come from living under two different authorities become very apparent.

Often Christians in this situation will look for a way out of the marriage, convinced that this is the only way to truly bring honor to God. His Word, however, says the contrary. The apostle Paul said, "You must accept whatever situation the Lord has put you in, and continue on as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches" (1 Corinthians 7:17). It is very important not only to be content in our situation, but look for ways to bring glory to Him out of our challenging circumstances.

The Bible specifically addresses those who are married to unbelievers in 1 Corinthians 7:12-14: "...If a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a Christian woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not have a godly influence, but now they are set apart for him."

Christians married to unbelievers should be even more diligent in professing Christ and living in the light of God's presence (1 John 1:7). They should allow God's transforming power to change their heart and produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Christian wives are obligated to have submissive hearts even toward their unbelieving husbands (1 Peter 3:1).

Christians are not meant to live solitary lives; they need to find support from outside sources, such as through church and Bible study groups. Being married to an unbeliever does not alter the sacredness of the relationship, so it should be the priority of every Christian to pray for his or her spouse, and set a good example, allowing Christ's light to shine brightly before the world (Philippians 2:14).

Recommended Resource: Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage by Lee Strobel.